Choking On Thank You
by margaret aka whymelucylu
Summary: How Helen copes with Saying Thank You to Ranger after saving Stephanie's life... Based off of ShellSueD Free Fall. AR. AU. Naturally BABE...
1. Chapter 1

_**Choking On Thank You (see Footnote Please and PAY ATTENTION!)**_

The table is set for what will be the most 'unpleasant' moment of my life.

I had polished my wedding silver just for this occasion, hoping to draw attention _**away from**_ the bottle of Jack Daniel's that was sitting right by my own place setting.

Every drop of my golden 'medicine' was going to be needed to get me through the hell that was headed my way, in just over two hours from now. Of course being the hostess I am, I have my 'own glass' I use for just these occasions.

Occasions that wouldn't be needed at all if Stephanie Michelle Plum would just settle down and do what I say, not what she wants in her life. It was bad enough that the Morelli's 'godfather' was gunning for my own mother and daughter, but now...now I have to thank the devil himself for saving her.

I don't know how to say thank you to someone I utterly despise. That's not the way it's done in _my world._

In all my years of growing up, I could throw out a sorry just as sure as I could learn a new recipe, never really meaning it but today _I have to mean it._

The law has been 'laid down for me' by none other than my _own mother._

Talk about being 'taken to school'.I've never seen _my own mother shaken up like this before._

_'Helen, I've never been more ashamed of you before in my life. And trust me, you've given me more heartache with your behavior than anyone I have ever met. Even your own Daddy was a prince among men to stay with me when you put us through our own hell when you were growing up. Now, I'm glad your Daddy is dead; he would have a fit over you and your silly as hell pride getting in the way. How would you feel knowing your youngest daughter COULD have DIED just yesterday? And you never even called to check on her? __**We both know that no one else would have saved Stephanie, but for the man you have a hard time accepting into Stephanie's life. **__You owe this thank you, you __**Will say Thank you, otherwise you are dead to me. Isn't it bad enough that your own husband moved out from your bedroom? Did you know he's actively seeking somewhere else to live now?'**_

Calling me into the den, she had assumed the position of power, behind my husband's desk. Her small figure was engulfed by the size of the chair. Frank had redone his den just as surely as he redid what is now his own bedroom. Moving out across the hallway, every stitch of his clothing was now occupying what used to be my old sewing room.

Now my sewing room had been moved to the attic, Frank had his own bedroom away from me and all because I refused to _even say thank you to the man I utterly despise with every fiber of my being._

Watching our own local programming news station, I saw for myself _that man_ never even hesitating to dive in the river and save my daughter from her certain death. Over and over the story played out; from the newspaper daily extra over the whole fiasco, to the morning news I had seen a few hours ago.

To cap that off, scenes of Frank clutching his daughter to him were shown for all to see. His comments of, _**'Thank you son. For everything, for saving my baby girl, for loving her so much you risked your own life, making sure your someday happened today.'**_

And of course, the two hooligans that were responsible 'happened to be related to the Morelli family' which of course set the news hounds on Joseph's family.

'No Comment' was what Joseph said when he was asked, 'How does it feel Mr. Morelli to know that someone you grew up with and were rumored to be engaged to was _**rescued by the CEO of Rangeman, Inc?'**_

He gave a hard stare into the camera. I could see the vein on his forehead throbbing in anger when he tried to avoid the follow up question of 'would you have done the same thing, if you could have been found when it was happening?'

Joe just shoved the camera man out of the way as he strode to his own car and slammed the door shut, ignoring the reporters still shouting questions at him.

_Sighing, I was brought back to my musings when the front door slammed._

"Helen, I mean this. I've tried to overlook your shortcomings, being the lead gossip in the neighborhood, but know this..._**both your husband and I will be watching you like the speck of dirt you have become and if the apology isn't coming from your heart, you will be a very,very sorry Helen Mazur. Never a Plum after tonight," **_my Mother said. She glared at me, the same glare that Stephanie used to give me when I happened to invite that dear Morelli boy over for dinner without mentioning it to her ahead of time.

Frank appeared over her shoulder; somehow I had 'overlooked' that his eyes matched my youngest daughter's eyes perfectly.

Opening his mouth to speak, no doubt to reinforce what my own mother said, I happened to be 'saved by the bell,' in other words the telephone was ringing.

_**xoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxooxox**_

_**tbc...**_

_**in my world Frank has the blue eyes. Just sayin'**_

_**Plus its AR/AU as that's how I roll...plus it's not mine at all.**_

_**Don't we all love Free Fall written by our own lovely Ms. ShellSueD? I've really tried to bribe, cajole, and beg on my knees for Helen to say thank you to the Man-In-Black for saving Stephanie's life?**_

_**Hell no, she won't do it...so I am...you know I love to be in Helen's Hellish world anyway...so here it is..**_

_**Thanks to Ms. Tammie and Ms. Shelley for all their feedback and laughter over my attempt to get Helen to 'do the right thing' for once in her life.**_

_**whatcha' think? after all I did say To Be Continued...**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Helen's Mea Culpa**

**Previously;**

Frank appeared over her shoulder; somehow I had 'overlooked' that his eyes matched my youngest daughter's eyes perfectly.

Opening his mouth to speak, no doubt to reinforce what my own mother said, I happened to be 'saved by the bell,' in other words the telephone was ringing.

**xoxooxoxooxoxoxoox**

I was stuck to the floor unable to move my feet to get the phone, pinned under my own Mother's glare. It joined my husband's and held me in place.

The answering machine picked up and Valerie's voice came over the speaker: "Mom, Albert and I won't be able to make it tonight for dinner. Tell Steph I'm glad she's all right. Thank goodness Ranger was right there to pull his 'Babe' out of the water and save her life, _again. I finally get it Mom, I've been watching over and over the looks on their faces when Steph was freed from the handcuffs and I can see just how much Ranger loves Steph. I've been so blind to everything, I'm just glad she talked to me today when I called her earlier."_

The dial tone came through the speaker loud and clear after she hung up. Luckily, Frank shut that off so I didn't have to move at all from the spot it seemed I was rooted to.

Lord, could this get any worse?

I've been dreading those awful words I have to say so much.

Those words have been foreign to me since I was a teenager.

I show my love by keeping the house clean, washing the clothes and even ironing the curtains every time Stephanie gets hurt. Can't anyone understand how hard this is going to be on me? _Who needs words when actions speak so much louder in this family?_

Saying Sorry is something I haven't had to do since I was a child. I know I was such a handful for my parents; my grades weren't all that great except in home economics, something that is rarely taught these days. My parents couldn't understand why I had no interest in anything but cooking, after all that's what a man's job is, everything else I never cared about learning.

Now it'll be just the five of us. What on earth will we be talking about over the meal?

I had become lost in my thoughts while relaxing in the kitchen and I'd barely given a thought as to what to prepare for dinner. Sitting in my trusted chair, I just tried to figure out how 'to say' Thank You without really meaning it. It's just two words, right?

Surely I could pull this one off, after all I've had plenty of practice saying to other Mother's in the Burg. When their children bring shame down on their heads, it's so easy to commiserate with them. I mean, look who my youngest daughter is! One that causes mayhem and chaos all over the place.

_**Yet that one scene still plays over and over in my mind, I was mending in the den, sitting in Frank's chair when the local news broke about my daughter and that man.**_

Stephanie being handcuffed and over the railing she went.

It was almost as if Frank's big screen had me there at the scene watching her falling into the water. The camera crew caught that _**Rangeperson's**_ face just as he dove in headfirst to rescue her. Never giving a thought, I suppose, to the 'hero status' he would be treated to, if he was successful. My own husband and my mother's face on the television set thanking him for _**'making sure your Someday happened,' **_had me snorting my Jack right on the fresh mending pile.

With an eye roll, I looked at the clock just to verify there was time to get dinner on the table.

I was shocked I had less than an hour. What on earth could I make in that amount of time? I had gotten lost in my thoughts and now look, Helen _(soon to be Mazur)_ Plum caught off guard on the most important day of my life it turns out.

If I wanted to stay married that is.

Where on earth did the time go to? It was almost five thirty and nothing was fixed at all. I'd just managed to set the dining room table _until_ I got the phone call from Val. Mother had been back and forth puttering away, humming under her breath, I could even hear the tune, '_When The Saint's Come Marching In.'_

Of course, only my mother and the rest of my family thought that man was a saint. But, I knew better.

I had been staring off absent mindedly when all of a sudden I noticed a few things at once.

Aromas were coming through to the kitchen from the dining room. Food I hadn't prepared. Who on earth could have made something that smelled _this wonderful, _if not me?

I barely managed to get myself out of my chair when mother waltzed in and said in a most 'superior' tone, _**' Get a move on Helen, we can't keep Ella's food warm for you any longer.'**_

Sashaying her backside to me, I felt the noose of doom tighten up around my neck.

I told myself to 'suck it up; maybe the liquor will help me say thank you 'that way.' Lord knows I need my 'medicine' more than ever.

Smoothing imaginary wrinkles from my outfit, I looked down in horror and noticed I hadn't even changed my clothes for dinner.

What will Stephanie think seeing me in my house dress from this morning?

I've worn it to meals numerous times before but the faded colors belie just _how worn and comfortable it is to me. Why, this dress has kept me calm, I reached for it each day I felt something was off in my world. Just like my 'medicine' I needed this as much for comfort as I need a full glass of something to drink._

_I had done my hair and fixed my face this morning and now everyone and myself would know if the Pond's Cream really smoothed my wrinkles like it claimed to do._

My breath caught at the scene set before me.

At the dining room table where all I'd done earlier was break out the good linen, the table was set with my best china and hand-written place cards were set before each plate.

Naturally, Frank sat at the end of the table and since extra leaves weren't needed, my mother was at side.

It was seeing my own place card with _Helen Mazur_ on it that drove the point home.

_**'Thank You' **_was the booming voice echoing in my head as I approached my own seat, flanked by Stephanie on one side and the man-in-black on the other.

Smoothly, he rose from his chair and held mine out for me.

"Mrs. Plum, allow me to help seat you."

I tipped my head in acknowledgment towards him and allowed him to help slide my chair forward to the table that looked as nice as every Martha Stewart article I had ever seen.

My mother's china graced the table and I could tell the polished silverware last used for Mary Alice's birthday was being used tonight.

Already our glasses were filled with liquid.

Sitting right in front of me, daring to take a drink, I felt my tongue lick my bottom lip in anticipation of what wine was being served for my very own _**Mea Culpa**_.

Frank lifted his glass to make a toast, so naturally I lifted mine as well in support of whatever drivel he was bound to say. At least I was getting a damn good drink from it.

_**"Welcome to the family son. It's been so long since anyone I know ever cared a lick about my baby girl except for Edna and me. For you to be willing to potentially end your own life in rescuing my daughter certainly deserves all the thanks both of us could give you."**_

Frank and my mother's eyes landed on me as I took my first swallow of wine once the toast was over.

My taste buds froze at what was in my mouth, in fact I barely was able to swallow the "Bubbling apple cider". I could see the label from the bottle nesting in an ice bucket between Frank and my mother.

Silver domes protected our plates from loosing heat, and all at once everyone lifted theirs at the same time.

My mouth fell open at what our menu was.

Food only described in my magazines; I never would have imagined making this myself.

_**Beef Tenderloin. and right beside that was steamed asparagus with some herb infused roasted red potato's.**_

"Ella outdid herself tonight, Ranger," Frank said to start the conversation off.

"She did at that, Frank. I was damn glad when my Tia Ella and Louis decided to take over the care of my men and myself. Steph is already 'adopted' into our family. Ella and Louis are worth the raises I just gave them, plus even more if they would only take it," Ranger remarked to everyone.

"Daddy, Ella does everything and anything she sets her mind too. She knew tonight would be hard on us all, so she fixed the meal to 'end all meals.' Wait till you taste her dessert, she made my favorite of all time, 'Petits Pains au Chocolate' I can hardly say it, but it's what she makes me whenever I have a bad day like yesterday." Steph's voice faded at the end.

Stephanie keeping her eyes on Ranger's let me relax a little bit, easing the tenseness in my shoulders I'd been carrying around all day over this 'Thank You' everyone is demanding.

I cleared my throat and to my horror, it brought everyone's eye to me. Honestly, I was just reaching for my glass of Cider because my throat was parched. But now I felt my face flush because it appeared everyone thought I wanted to say something. I quickly grabbed the glass and chugged the rest, wishing to hell it was whiskey instead of this cider crap. The distraction worked, and all heads turned away from me-I was sure I caught my mother's eyes roll before she focused back onto her granddaughter.

" After talking to Valerie today, we wanted to have a nice family meal with everyone and so you could see for yourselves that Ranger and I are both perfectly fine. Also, we've had a chance to _explore our feelings and actually sit down and have a conversation about the future we are starting to share. I've already moved in with Ranger, so my apartment is empty as of tonight._ The guys are just now taking the last load to the dump for me," Steph told us all. Keeping a defiant look in her eyes as she never broke eye contact with me while talking.

"I think that's terrific, Stephanie," My mother said. I'm proud of you for finally going after what you've wanted all along. and you get Ella's amazing cooking on top of it all! Too bad she can't home deliver, eh Frank? We'd be in heaven every night. Nothing beats this meal. Hands down. Helen! Why can't you cook like this for us?" Mother asked.

Laughter was heard all around the table at that comment. Everyone knows I have the perfect pot roast recipe and here was my own family agreeing another woman's cooking was superior to mine.

Not even I would admit it's true.

Stephanie and her grandmother made short work of clearing the table while serving the dessert she couldn't even pronounce properly. Right along with the china coffee cups, everyone tried to relax as the time passed by.

Even I had to admit the light pastry was perfect with the Kona coffee, also supplied by Ella.

Frank caught my eye and with a head nod let me know my time had finally come.

The words _**'Thank You' echoed over and over in my head.**_

_**It was time.**_

_**A felt air rush through my lungs as I opened my mouth to speak. **_

_**My Mea Culpa was at hand...**_

Only to feel hands slapping my cheeks, stinging my face all the while trying to wake me up.

I opened my eyes, realizing I was sitting on the floor, my back resting against my chair.

Looking around me, I could read the emotion's on everyone face as they seemed to be studying mine.

Mother looked positively gleeful; she knew me best of all and the fact I fainted while trying to speak shouted to her that once again, I had 'disappointed' her and she couldn't wait to make me the source of humiliation at the Clip N Curl.

Frank just rolled his eyes and gave me the 'I can't believe you did that look' he always does when catching me gossiping on the phone.

Stephanie had her head tucked into the crook of Ranger's neck, laughing hysterically at the sight of seeing me sitting, legs gapped open in my house dress. Unable to move or to thank the man she was plastered to.

A flicker of his eyes, let me know Ranger Manoso wasn't impressed by me at all. Holding onto my daughter's chin, they seemed to have some sort of 'silent conversation' between them as Stephanie turned to me and said:

"Don't worry about it Helen, I knew you could never say anything remotely nice to us. Good luck on you getting everything you always wanted with the vaunted Burg lifestyle. _**If you ever decide to call our number, just know the Pay Phone at the corner liquor store will be the one ringing."**_

x0x0x0x0x00xx00x0xx0x0x0x0x0x0xx0x0

a/n that's it folks

AR

AU

not mine.

_**Thanks ever so much for your help Ms. Shelley.**_

_**muchas gracias, Chica.**_

*this meal is from the Mind of Ms. Tammie, as I needed her culinary advice on something that Ella created just for the Plum Family...and since she *cough cough* loves to cook anyway...who better to ask?

Cindy Lou glad I could make you laugh...


End file.
